I am a little unsure how to write what I have to say this week. It is very tempting to skip over the story behind the celebration and just let you in for the easy celebration part, but it just would not be the same without some explanation. This is a hard one to write and I have to admit I will be keeping the delete option open in my mind right up until I hit send (if I do build up enough courage to do so by the end).
Much to my joy and delight my husband got me Metallica tickets as a birthday gift and I attended this past Sunday with “the other half of my nail soul.” Mel and I do concerts and nail education together. We actually met in the first master class either of us ever attended! After all the hard work I had put into my lifestyle change I was really hoping to purchase and wear a Metallica T-shirt. Much to my mortification and dismay, I had not shrunk enough to fit into the standard largest size they offered. Most organizations only offer their shirts up to a certain size and some even compound this by ordering their shirts in a “women’s cut.” While logically I should know better than to think anything of it, my heart cries out that all of these places are sending a message that I am not worthy of their shirts because I am not the right size. Logically it probably has more to do with cost and things like that. But really it leaves me feeling left out and stupid for wanting one when I should have known I would just be too big. I wonder really what the cost would be for places to offer a size or two bigger as statistics show that about 80% of people over 25 are overweight. So then I try to justify maybe it isn’t that people are trying to say they do not want “fluffy” fans or customers, they are trying to say they do not want old ones! Oh but wait that still would leave me out in the cold as I am past 25 as well.
This was a real mental stumbling block because I had actually anticipated it as a potential victory. The only way I can see around it is to just give the victory a little more time to come about. So I stewed a bit while we waited for the opening band, and as I drank my bottle of water instead of something more fun or flavorful, I realized that my celebration for the week was being on the path to wearing the shirt even if I was not at the destination just yet. Some people really do judge you and accept or dismiss you based on size, but I’m pretty sure the T-shirt guy was just out for a buck and I know that I am not a bad person to have in your corner no matter how much of the corner I occupy. J So coming soon to a blog near you, I will be wearing that shirt, and it will be a celebration hard earned!
— Holly
Print | posted on Friday, October 31, 2008 3:09 PM